Having epilepsy is something I have and is not who I am. Despite being able to drive a car and not having a seizure for almost eight years, I still take medication for epilepsy. It may seem like it was easy for me to become seizure free, that all I needed to do was take medication, or be lucky by not having a seizure. Taking medication and having proper sleep habits might seem like an easy task to become seizure free. However, taking medication is more about just swallowing an anti-convulsant.
Since I was a little boy, my family knew I had ADHD. However, it was not until I was 13 years old when I was classified as having epilepsy. Epilepsy is often a by-product of ADHD. When I meet someone who also has epilepsy, we have something in common. It does not mean we are the same people because epilepsy to me is only a characteristic—not an identity.
Having epilepsy has meant some activities in which I could not participate. During high school, I could not drive, and my mom would not allow me to play football as a result of having epilepsy. After being seizure free for more than two years now, I can drive despite having epilepsy. Nature makes differences, and in no way have I ever seen epilepsy as a limitation on my abilities. Don’t we all have some sort of limitation. Actor Danny Glover has epilepsy as does musician Neil Young. Socrates also had epilepsy. Epilepsy never served as a limitation on their abilities; neither has it served as a limitation on mine.
I have to thank my doctor for helping me become seizure free. At the same time despite medication being successful at controlling my seizures, the side effects of the medication affected my grades in college and affected my social life. For many years, I avoided the fact that the side effects of my medication were making me depressed, angry, and unfocused. However, those side effects do not exist today because I recognized the side effects, decided not to hide any information from my doctor, and now take medication to control the side effects. The less I ignore the fact I have epilepsy the more I can do. Having epilepsy motivates me to have a good sleep pattern; it motivates me to live a stress free life. Now I live on my own, make a good living, and no one knows I have epilepsy because I never tell people. Not that I hide it; it is just not something I need to publicize or be ashamed of. Epilepsy is something to recognize, but not let it serve as a limitation on one’s day-to-day life.
I spent three weeks in the hospital to be monitored with an EEG to find out the cause of my epilepsy. Despite being in bed for three weeks with wires glued to my head and not being able to leave the hospital bed for 21 days, those were the best three weeks of my life because I got a definitive diagnosis. Now I live with epilepsy; it doesn’t control me.